


The Princess of Subcon

by InPrisonForSparkling



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Because uh, Bow has cat moms, Conductor's grandchildren are actually his nieces and nephews, Dadcher, F/F, F/M, Hat Kid's name is Tip, M/M, Multi, Tip is NOT an OC-, Vanessa becomes not a shadow monster, also, also the kids were like 11 when Tip came to Earth the first time, i don't make the rules, i must stress that HAT KID'S NAME IS TIP IN THIS-, it just is, oh and the Time Pieces are dAnGeRoUs, so they're 14 now, they make people go c r a z y over them, uh-huh you heard that right folks, we got us some Canon Divergence, woop-de-doodles here we go, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26816191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InPrisonForSparkling/pseuds/InPrisonForSparkling
Summary: It's been three years since Tip left. They should all be over it by now... right?But they aren't. None of them are.Then again, how could they be?Suddenly, one day, Tip comes back. Obviously, chaos ensues.DRAMA! ROMANCE! BLOODSHED! GAYOTIC IDIOTS! ALL THIS AND MORE!
Relationships: Cooking Cat/The Empress (A Hat in Time), Hat Kid & Snatcher (A Hat in Time), Hat Kid (A Hat in Time) & Everyone, Hat Kid/Mustache Girl (A Hat in Time), Snatcher/Queen Vanessa (A Hat in Time), The Conductor/DJ Grooves (A Hat in Time)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 64





	1. The Cold, Chairs, and Crowns

**Author's Note:**

> yes i know it doesn't start with Tip coming back stfu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mu is cold, Snatcher is _trying_ to read, and Vanessa gets annoyed at her crown. or something like that anyway idk

Mu sighed as she stoked the small campfire in front of her, staring out over the ocean.

Three years now, since Hat Kid had left.

She shouldn’t have cared so much. Hat Kid was just some girl who showed up once, and never came back. Nothing special.

Except, to Mu, she  _ was _ . Hat Kid - Mu had never learned her real name - had saved the world. From the Time Pieces, and from Mu herself.

Mu chuckled slightly, remembering how she’d been beaten in the Battle at Time’s End.  _ That girl packs a mean punch. _

Still, she shouldn’t have cared so much. Why did she still hope, year after year, that Hat Kid would come back? It didn’t make sense. Stars,  _ nothing  _ made sense.

Mu glanced back at her campfire, before moving as far as she could into the cave. It was a cold night.

The nights were always cold in Mafia Town.

She shivered slightly, pulling her cape tighter. The fire was going out.

* * *

Snatcher was trying to focus on his book. Really, he was.

But it was almost impossible. As much as he wished he could forget, he couldn’t help his thoughts drifting back to one thing.

Three years. It had been three years since the kid in the hat left.

It was so confusing. He shouldn’t have  _ cared _ . The kid was just another victim of his contracts, nothing more. So why did he wish she’d come back?

Surely… surely he just wanted her to sign another contract? But, well, he had plenty of servants already, even before the kid. That couldn’t be it.

Snatcher sighed irritably, putting his book down. What was the point of even trying to focus on it anymore?

He walked - well, floated, he couldn’t walk - out of the tree he usually read in.  _ Hmm, where to go…? _

For some reason that he couldn’t fathom, he thought of Vanessa’s manor. The place where he’d turned into this… this  _ thing _ that he was.

And yet… despite himself, he  _ did _ want to see how Vanessa was doing. And maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to talk things out with her.

Unlikely, but it was worth a try.

That was how, a couple of minutes later, he stood in front of the manor’s door, slightly regretting his decision.  _ Oh well, I’m here now, _ he thought.  _ Might as well see it through. _

He knocked five times, two sharp knocks and three soft ones; just as he used to back when he and Queen Vanessa were just the Prince and Princess. Just… two people in love.

Oh, how he missed it.

* * *

Queen Vanessa didn’t remember much.

She remembered locking The Prince - _her_ Prince - in a cell, because she saw him with a florist - _why did I do_ _that_ \- and then, nothing.

Only shadows and red lights.

She was sitting in an armchair when she heard the knock.

She nearly jumped at the achingly familiar sound. The Prince was… here…?

Then she remembered what she’d done. What she’d made her one true love become.

_ Snatcher. _

She screamed, then, yelled out her anger and pain. She threw the crown on the ground and crushed it under her heel, the damn  _ crown _ , that thing that marked her as “other” and “better” and made her life more  _ precious _ than someone else’s-

And suddenly, everything was clearer; it wasn’t quite so dark, so red.

“Vanessa?!” There was more knocking on the door. It sounded frantic this time.

“I-I’m fine!” Vanessa called, scrambling towards the door. “Just, uh… had a bit of, uh…” 

She opened the door, trailing off as she saw - who else? - Snatcher standing in front of her.

For a few moments, they both stood there awkwardly, neither sure what they should say.

Snatcher cleared his throat. “Uh, hello?”

“Hi,” Vanessa replied, smiling nervously.

“So. Uh. You seem… better?”

“Hm?” Vanessa looked down at herself, and gasped. She was… normal again?

Snatcher stared for a moment, before clearing his throat again. “Uh, you’re. Not. Shadowy.”

“...true, surprisingly.”


	2. Talks over Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tip comes back, Mu isn't entirely sure that Tip is back, Snatcher and Vanessa have a nice chat over tea, and Tip curses repeatedly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay Tip's finally back are ya hAPPy

Tip was bored out of her mind.

This, in and of itself, wasn’t that odd. She was often bored. After all, on her home planet, you couldn’t even  _ see _ the stars.

But this… it felt weird, like she was  _ empty _ somehow.

_ Almost like that time Snatcher took your soul, _ she found herself thinking.

_ Wait, what? _

Why was she thinking about Earth?

Sure, it was an interesting planet. But she’d left - about, what? Three years ago? - and she hadn’t planned to come back. Hadn’t thought she’d  _ want  _ to come back.

But, she realized with a shock, she  _ did _ want to go back. She wanted -  _ needed, _ even - to see her friends. 

The thing was, her Time Pieces could probably only make one journey. If she went to Earth, she wouldn’t be able to come back for  _ years _ . Probably longer.

Still, looking up at the starless sky, she made a decision. It might have been the wrong one. She couldn’t care less.

A couple of hours later, she grinned as she pushed the lever, starting up her spaceship.

* * *

Mu sighed as she gazed out at the star-filled sky of Mafia Town, sitting in the belltower. She’d been hoping, almost, that  _ this _ would be the year Hat Kid came back.

Apparently, she’d hoped wrong. The girl was nowhere in sight.

_ Wait. What was that? _

Mu stood up, trying to get a better look at the thing that had just appeared in the sky-

She gasped.

Hat Kid’s spaceship was right there above the Earth,  _ right there _ . Was this a dream…?

It  _ had _ to be. There was no chance that Hat Kid would just randomly come back after three years.

...Right?

As much as she didn’t want to, Mu hoped that Hat Kid  _ was _ back.

“Peck, why do I CARE so much?!” Mu asked herself, nearly yelling. “This- it doesn’t- it doesn’t make any SENSE!”

* * *

For a couple of hours, Snatcher and Vanessa talked to each other over an unreasonable amount of tea. It was awkward at first - how could it not be? - but eventually, they started talking and laughing and joking together, just as they had when they first met.

“You know, I missed this,” Snatcher commented, smiling and bringing the cup of tea up to his mouth. He glanced down, and jumped slightly.

“What’s wrong?” Vanessa asked, before realizing. He’d turned into something… something like The Prince.

“Nothing’s  _ wrong _ , exactly,” Snatcher replied, staring down at his hands. “I’m just very surprised.”

Vanessa smiled nervously. “I suppose we  _ both _ got surprises today-”

Suddenly, they both heard a loud  _ thump _ upstairs, then a high-pitched voice yelling, “PECK!”

Snatcher jumped out of his seat, eyes wide. “Hat Kid. That’s- that’s Hat Kid. Is… is she back…?”

“Who’s Hat Kid?” Vanessa asked, standing up as well.

Snatcher paused for a moment, then waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, just… an old contractor.”

Vanessa didn’t look convinced.

Snatcher sighed irritably. “Alright, yes, she’s not  _ just _ that. She- well, she saved us all, a couple of years back. And as much as I hate to admit it, I almost care about her.” He cleared his throat. “And I may or may not have ordered her to sneak through your manor three years ago.”

“Ah.” Vanessa moved towards the door of the dining room, opening it. “Well, let’s go find out how she got into my attic  _ this _ time.”

* * *

Tip cursed. Repeatedly. And loudly.

On second thought, maybe that was a bad idea.

Because she was in Queen Vanessa’s manor. The one place on Earth that actually scared her. Sure, she’d been in danger in some other places, but here…

Well, she’d barely made it out alive.

And it was a miracle that she left with her sanity still intact.

She shuddered. Queen Vanessa was one Earthling she did  _ not  _ want to meet again.

Then, a couple of things happened in rapid succession.

The attic door opened, Tip screamed, some weird purple guy with Snatcher’s face cursed, and Vanessa laughed nervously.

“Wh- who’re you?!” Tip shouted, brandishing her umbrella. “I- I’m armed!”

“Kid, I can see that,” the purple guy - definitely Snatcher, Tip realized - replied. “We’re not going to hurt you.”

Tip scanned the room, eyes wide with fear. “Where’s Vanessa?!”

“…I’m right here, child,” Vanessa said, approaching hesitantly.

Tip lowered her umbrella, staring.


	3. More Talks, Still Over Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tip drinks tea, Snatcher eats a cookie whole, and Mu finally finds out that Tip is back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im bad at chapter titles  
> and yes, this is the second chapter that i've posted today. i come from the school of "just post it when it's finished"

Mu still wasn’t sure that Hat Kid really was back.

Sure, she still  _ hoped, _ but that didn’t mean she knew for certain. She couldn’t - after all, if Hat Kid was back, she hadn’t come to Mafia Town. Yet.

_ Shut up, Mu, she won’t come to visit you of all people,  _ she told herself.  _ Not after what you did. _

She couldn’t really remember why she’d done…  _ that _ . Why she’d become the very thing she swore to destroy.

A bad guy.

She sighed irritably. This really wasn’t a fun thing to think about.

* * *

Tip brought the teacup up to her mouth, hands shaking slightly. Even though she knew she was safe, Vanessa’s manor still scared her.

“I- I’m sorry about the first time we met,” Vanessa told her apologetically, staring down at her tea. “I was… not in the best mindset. And, well, I-”

Tip cut her off. “No, it’s fine. Really. I can tell you’re sorry.” She smiled, putting down her teacup. “Also, you’re actually really nice.” She gestured at the cookies on a plate in front of her.

Snatcher snorted. “Yeah, she’s nice. Apart from that one time-”

“Snatcher, I thought we agreed never to mention that again?” Vanessa said wearily.

“Right, right, sorry,” Snatcher replied hastily.

Tip glanced between them, slightly confused. “Uh… anyway…”

“So why’re ya back, kiddo?” Snatcher asked, taking a cookie and eating it whole.

“Oh, well, that’s simple!” Tip sipped her tea dramatically. “I was bored.”

Vanessa stifled a laugh.

Tip stood up. “Now, this has been really nice - thank you, by the way - but there are a couple other people I have to say hello to. Thanks again! See you!”

She picked up a Time Piece, and suddenly, she was gone.

* * *

Mu was just about ready to give up again when she heard a loud  _ thump _ behind her.

She twirled around instantly, and in front of her was - who else? - Hat Kid.

“WHAT THE PECK?!” Mu yelled, grabbing Tip’s shoulders. Slightly quieter, she continued, “What  _ took _ you so long?”

Tip blinked, then hugged her. “Honestly? I’ve no idea. I should’ve come back a long time ago.”

Mu was surprised, to say the least. She hadn’t expected any kind of warm welcome, let alone a hug. Now she didn’t have any idea of what to say.

“Listen, I- I’m sorry I left,” Tip said, releasing the other girl from the hug. “I just… oh, I don’t know. It was a stupid decision. I’m sorry.”

“No,  _ I _ should be sorry. I… I tried to kill you!” Mu mumbled, tearing up slightly.

“It  _ wasn’t your fault _ ,” Tip told her. “Trust me, the Time Pieces are… well, they’re dangerous, honestly.”

Mu stared up at her, unsure. “Are… are you serious?”

Tip nodded. “Part of the reason that I went around collecting them is that I didn’t want anyone to… well…”

Mu sighed. “Make Time’s End happen?”

“Pretty much,” Tip replied apologetically.


	4. Reflections, Probably. A Lot of Internal Monologue, Anyways.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conductor gets annoyed, and also foreshadowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like to think that the title is funny

Conductor was annoyed.

This wasn’t odd, in and of itself. He was often annoyed - whether at his incompetent owl crew, DJ Grooves, or even just the general way of things.

But today, it  _ was _ odd, because he was annoyed at something - some _ one - _ that he hadn’t been annoyed at for three years now.

That weird hat lass.

Why? Well, it was simple. She hadn’t come to see him.

Yeah, he knew it was stupid. She was just some kid that had starred in a couple movies of his. Nothing special.

And yet, she’d come back - he knew what  _ that  _ spaceship looked like - and she hadn’t come to see him, or even that peck neck DJ Grooves!

Conductor grumbled as he turned the corner to the reception of Dead Bird Studio. He’d work all this out later, but for now, he had a train to run.

* * *

Vanessa wasn’t entirely sure why, but that child had seemed familiar. Maybe it was just because she looked so similar to-

_ No, don’t think about that. It’s been 500 years. She’s dead by now, no matter what happened, _ she scolded herself, glancing up to find herself in the… the nursery.

_ Oh, for peck’s sake, not here. _

She’d had a child, once. She didn’t need to be reminded of it.

But she  _ really _ didn’t need to see the painting in that room, the one of her child, the daughter that looked so remarkably like Hat Kid.

* * *

Vanessa’s manor was still obviously the one Tip had snuck into a couple years ago, but as it was now - with Vanessa’s mood having much improved - it had turned into a much nicer place to be. 

Still, Tip couldn’t forget how terrifying it had been, and the entire time she had been there, she found herself searching for places to hide.

It was hard to forget most things, for her, and yet…

There was this… hole in her memories. She remembered almost everything (Bow - she really should visit Bow, now that she thought about it - had often made comments about how accurate her memory was), but Tip couldn’t remember  _ anything _ from before that point.

The earliest memory she had was from when she was five years old - she didn’t know how she knew that, she just did - of waking up in her spaceship, determined to get home.

Only she didn’t know where “home” was.

The spaceship seemed to, though, and for years she travelled, hoping to get to somewhere with-

With, well,  _ people _ .

She’d done that, albeit accidentally, on Earth, but it still wasn’t “home”.

Right?

It had to be right. Otherwise, why would she be so set on leaving…?

The truth was, she didn’t know. She didn’t know a lot of things.

If she was honest with herself, she didn’t know who she  _ was _ .

Another thing she didn’t know:

T hat was about to change.


	5. Cats and Birds (and Additionally a Ghost)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bow misses Tip, Conductor is STILL annoyed, and more foreshadowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think you can tell that i put too little effort into the chapter titles

Bow missed it, if she was honest.

The crazy, dangerous escapades, led by a strange and charismatic alien (Bow was still confused about that; Tip looked so  _ human _ ), purely to get fuel back. But it was fun, and while living in the Metro was…  _ interesting _ , Bow still longed for the old adventure.

“Bow? Are you alright, kitten?” one of her adoptive parents, Empress, asked as she turned around the corner.

Bow jumped down from the vending machine she’d climbed onto. “I’m fine. Just… y’know, thinking.”

Cecil - also known as Cooking Cat, and Bow’s other adoptive parent - sighed. “Is it about that hat girl again?” They picked her up, smiling gently.

“It might be,” Bow muttered. “I just- it was just- oh, I wish she’d come  _ back. _ ”

“I know that feelin’, dear,” Cecil replied comfortingly, before changing the subject. “Y’know, alien stoves really aren’t any better than normal ones! Sometimes, they’re even worse,” they laughed.

“Pff, shut up, Cecil!” Bow giggled.

* * *

Conductor huffed, tapping his foot in the lobby of Dead Bird Studio. Why the peck hadn’t DJ Grooves gotten there yet?!

Wait. Why did he care? If the penguin was late, well, what did it matter to him? Hell, he should’ve been  _ happy  _ about it. This meant he would get a headstart in filming!

And yet, for whatever insane reason, he was  _ worried _ about DJ. What if he’d gotten sick, or been in a car crash, or-

Conductor groaned. Oh, peck, he _really_ didn’t want to catch feelings. Again. And yet…

Well, it seemed he couldn’t help it. But for now, he needed to figure out where the peck DJ had gotten himself to.

* * *

Snatcher was ever so slightly troubled.

Scratch that, he was  _ very _ troubled. It just- it didn’t make sense.

He hadn’t noticed it, the first time, but Hat Kid looked  _ weirdly  _ like his daughter. Like, she looked like she was actually Tip.

But- but that was impossible. It had been 500 years since Tip disappeared. She had to be dead by now, right? Besides, Ti-  _ Hat Kid _ was an alien. She couldn’t be his daughter. No chance.

...she sounded the same. Had the same bubbly, energetic personality. Even her smile was the same.

No, it- it couldn’t be. Tip was gone.

Right?

An interesting fact for you all: Snatcher had been wrong many times before.

This was another time to add to the list.


	6. A Time Rift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes two in one day

Mu laughed, almost as a reflex. She couldn’t believe it. Three years, and suddenly…

Hah. It didn’t make sense.

But then again, not much made sense on Earth - where most things, fantastical or mundane, could and did happen.

“HEY!” called a very familiar, high-pitched voice.

“Well, hello there, Tip! How’s the ‘talking to people’ thing going?” Mu asked in response, glancing at the (infuriatingly, slightly taller) girl.

Tip grinned, poking her in the arm. “Evidently, not all that bad, seeing that  _ you’re _ talking to  _ me _ .”

Mu scoffed. “Oh, really? Well then, why did  _ you  _ start talking to  _ me _ ?”

“I want to show you around my spaceship,” Tip replied excitedly. “It’s really cool, and you haven’t even seen any of it but the main hall!”

Mu paused. “You want to show me around your spaceship?” She considered it for a moment, then shrugged. “Sure, but why?”

“Eh, I’m bored and chaotic. What do you expect?”

“Understandable,” Mu laughed, letting the taller girl lead her towards the spaceship.

* * *

Vanessa laughed, high-pitched and fake, more of a thinly concealed sob than anything.

Her family had been so  _ perfect _ , so happy, and it had been torn apart.

“Why? Why us? We didn’t deserve this,” Vanessa whispered to herself, staring at the floor.

* * *

“And that’s my ship! D’you like it?”

Tip had just finished showing Mu around her spaceship, and she was slightly out of breath from all the running around.

“It’s… wow, you  _ live  _ here?” Mu asked, staring at everything.

“Yep! I have for as long as I can remember,” Tip replied cheerfully.

Then, a number of things happened in rapid succession.

Tip leaned against the Time Piece vault.

The vault opened.

The door to the spaceship flew open as well.

Mu, along with most of the Time Pieces, fell out of the spaceship.

A Time Piece hit Tip on the head.

Tip disappeared, and in her place, only a purple Time Rift remained.

* * *

Mu was screaming as she fell.

Well,  _ obviously _ . She was falling down to Earth, from outer space, but something else stuck in her mind.

Tip had disappeared, and a weird purple thing had appeared in her place, and Mu was terrified and she didn’t know what to  _ do _ .

She glanced down at the rapidly approaching ground, and groaned. She was falling towards the Metro.

Bow hadn’t expected this.

Mu, the red-hooded girl who’d nearly destroyed the world, had fallen into the Metro. And now she was… asking for help?

Mu cleared her throat nervously. “Uh, so, I know you probably hate me, but… Tip- Hat Kid-”

“I know her name,” Bow interrupted.

Mu nodded, smiling weakly. “The Time Pieces fell out of the vault, and one hit her head, and she’s disappeared-”

Bow jumped at that. “Is there a purple thing where she was?”

Mu looked confused. “Yes, but why is that importa-”

“She’s trapped in a purple Time Rift. We have to get through the Time Rift and fix it,” Bow told her, already taking out her trusty baseball bat. 

Mu stared.

Bow gestured towards the entrance of the Metro. “You want to help her, don’t you? Come on!” She ran off, glancing behind herself to see if Mu had followed.

She had, and now there was a determined glint in her eye.

_ Hm, _ Bow thought to herself.  _ Maybe she can be a hero after all. _


	7. The Time Rift

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes i know. three chapters in one day.

_ It was dark. So dark. _

_ All Tip wanted was to sink into the quiet and nothingness of it all. _

_ It would be easy, but… she knew there was someone, someone who was waiting for her. _

_ Probably. _

_ She couldn’t quite remember. _

* * *

Mu wasn’t sure about what she was about to do.

Yes, she wanted to save Tip, but this seemed… dangerous.

She shook her head. Taking a deep breath, she glanced at Bow, and they reached out to touch the Time Rift.

A couple of minutes later, Mu found herself somewhere that looked oddly like… Subcon Forest? Huh. That was weird.

As she explored the place more (occasionally finding weird pages and weirder pons), Bow by her side, she saw that it looked more like Subcon from the history books - vibrant red, yellow and purple trees. Subcon  _ had _ always been stuck in autumn, back when it was a kingdom.

Bow had explained how the purple time rifts worked, so if these were Tip’s memories… how come they were in the Kingdom of Subcon?

This didn’t make sense. Mu had always been good at solving mysteries; she just didn’t have all the clues.

Well, if Bow was right, they would get a great deal more clues once they read the Storybook.

Quite a few failed attempts at jumping and dashing later, they had collected every Storybook Page and fixed the Time Rift.

Now all that was left was to read the Storybook.

_ The Tale of the Lost Princess _ , the cover read; underneath the title, a hat - Tip’s hat - and a tiara sat side by side.

First, there was a picture of a family: The Prince and Princess of Subcon, with their daughter - Mu realized with a start she’d read about this in her history classes, the lost royal child.

Oh peck.

She’d just found her last clue.

With some trepidation, she continued reading - a picture of a sleeping child in her cot, with inhuman shadows looming over her; another of the same child being placed in a strange machine; another of the child sealed in the machine, and a clock ticking away; and-

Beside her, Mu heard Bow gasp, though she herself had already long guessed what the picture would be.

A picture of Tip, looking out over Earth, umbrella by her side.

* * *

Tip groaned as she sat up. She had a  _ terrible _ headache.

But… the hole in her memories.

It was gone.

She blinked. Two concerned, very familiar faces were staring down at her.

“Hello. Uh. I think I’m a princess.”


End file.
